I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
~Arnold Palmer

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.
~Bobby Jones

Who needs fitness when you have the best equipment.
~John Daly

Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
~Arthur Daley

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
~Arnold Palmer

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
~Phyllis Diller

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
~Dean Martin

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~Jack Lemmon

Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five.
~Paul Harvey

It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.
~Lee Trevino

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
~Jimmy Demaret

Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well.
~Craig Stadler

I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators.
~Gerald Ford

Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive.
~Harvey Penick

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.
~Arnold Palmer

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
~Hank Aaron